My hands keep shaking, my face contorts, and strange noises escape from places they shouldn't. What the hells? I think I did it again. Nabbed at feelings I can't have. Silly me.
Today is a strange one. Not necessarily that anything strange happened. In fact, perhaps the weirdest part of my day was the sour smell of my Anatomy classroom. None of us could figure out what it was. Or maybe it really was the frogs.
I guess it's only that I feel so awkward, and I'm not quite sure why. I mean. Maybe I am, and I just don't want to say it because that would be admitting to something that I KNOW would never in a million years work out for me.
I know that I can't be scared of loving, but I know when it won't work, and I can't fall back into that trap. The thing is, I don't want to have to cut people off completely just to have control over myself. But if that's the way things have to be, that's how they have to be. As long as I never feel the way I did ever again. It was hard enough letting go the first time.
Not that I never want to fall in love again. Just not with the same person and definitely not to be rejected twice. Personally, I blame cupid.
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